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When the Universe "tells me no" - Unpopular opinion: More often than not, I call Bullshit.

Updated: Jun 27, 2023

Ladies, can we have a real conversation right quick about signs from the Universe?

Let's start off with a little preface. While I am friendly, I am not here to first and foremost be your friend. I'm here as your coach. I'm here to present ideas, to hold space, to guide. I'm here to challenge perspectives and mindsets, and possibilities. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm not here to give you the answers (YOU have the answers, and together we'll guide you towards them). And I'm not here to nod & smile (although I do smile, a lot). Now that we're on the same page, let's get real. I can't tell you how often I hear from others, "I guess the Universe is just telling me no right now", "The Universe is telling me it's not time", "It's just not in the cards", "I'll just wait and see what the Universe sends me" or things along that line. While there ARE actually times where you will keep hitting a wall because something isn't for you (welcome to your unlearned lesson) more often than not I think we're all too comfortable with taking a passive approach to what could be for us, what we ultimately end up missing because we weren't willing to claim that thing for ourselves, despite it being hard, or challenging, or demanding of our expansion and capacity. Can I ask you something? How do you expect to trust the Universe and what it's trying to share with you, to gift you, if you won't even trust yourself? That's a serious question. You deserve everything beautiful and wonderful, and joyful already. Simply because you are you. Period. Whether you're willing to receive your gifts, your purpose, your destiny, that part's up to you, and you alone. The Universe has already assigned these things to you. And the Universe created YOU in a way that honors and compliments those gifts. Yet you spend so much time dumbing down and undermining the incredible and unique miracle that is you. I'm sure we've all heard the story about the man stranded in the ocean, praying to be saved. First came the rowboat, and the man let it pass him by. Then a motorboat, and again the man let it pass him by. Then a helicopter, and the man let it pass him by. All while praying to a higher power to save him. So he perishes, and then what? He asks that higher power why they didn't save him. "I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat, and a helicopter. What more did you want?"

WHAT IF - that opportunity is more about you *creating* a way, despite the challenges? WHAT IF - you have to experience challenge & hardship to mold the next version of you? WHAT IF – that “No” is actually a test of your resolution and conviction? WHAT IF – the trial by fire is what will help you prove to yourself that you can do it? WHAT IF – the challenge is giving you space to qualify what you’re asking for? WHAT IF – it’s not working out the way you expect because the Universe has a better way? It can be a fine line between what's not for you and what will take time, effort, and/or expansion to receive something. If you can't trust yourself, be open to what's for you, and be willing to take action, face adversity, and expand your capacity, you'll spend a lifetime missing the beautiful gifts the Universe has already assigned to you. What more do you want?!? What. Do. You. Want. What are you willing to claim, and work towards, and fight for, and gift yourself? You are the co-creator of this experience we call life, yet you're so willing to give up and give in before the adventure even starts? Ladybug, you are meant for so much more than that. Whether you believe that or not, I'm here to remind you when you can't remember for yourself. Sometimes we're so disconnected from ourselves (let's be real, most of the time) we don't know what we want, let alone realize WE have the power to claim what's for us. The beautiful part? There are some things you can do to reconnect to yourself AND identify what you truly want, what belongs to you. 1. Know who you are. What's your love language? What lights you up? What fills your heart with joy? What challenges you to be a better version of yourself? What are your values? What's your emotional goal (Right? When was the last time you thought about that?!?)? What does the best version of you look like? Who are you at your core? When you can answer those questions, it's way easier to identify what aligns with you, and what doesn't deserve your time and energy. 2. Trust yourself. So many of us struggle with this piece. You have to learn to trust yourself if you want to live in a way that is authentic for you, if you want to feel like this life is truly yours. This part takes *practice* - there's no way around that. You'll second guess, overthink, and doubt. Notice it. Acknowledge it. And let it go. Prove to yourself and that voice (sometimes small, sometimes screaming) that YOU know what is best for you and how to obtain that. 3. Process over Instant Gratification. So you're not seeing the results you expected. And you're definitely not seeing them as soon as you wanted. There is beauty in the process. There are lessons in the process. There is expansion, and understanding, and shifting and living in the process. More often than not there is an unraveling that has to happen in order to reconcile who we used to be and who we're becoming. 4. Manage your expectations. Can we talk about expectations? Realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations. Spoken expectations. Unspoken expectations. More often than not we have this idea in our head of how things are "supposed to" happen. F*ck that. First of all, are you voicing to others what your end goal is (to yourself AND others)? Are you qualifying it for yourself? Are you making assumptions about what you experience? People can't read your mind. If you're not telling them what you want, what you're looking for, or what you experienced, it's much harder for them to co-facilitate your objectives. Let's not forget that what each of us thinks stems from our own interpretations of a situation. More "No's" happen as result of us telling ourselves a story about an experience than the actual truth of the experience. Get curious. Share what you observe. Gain insight and feedback and perspective. Don't just go for the easy "No." Maybe you're reading this and you're feathers are getting ruffled. I'm okay with that (because around here we know that growth comes with discomfort). Maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Damn, I HAVE been taking a passive backseat" and now you're ready to change (and I'm really okay with that). If you're feeling uncomfortable, or called out, or empowered, my question is still the same: What do you want from this life, and what will you do to receive that? -All my love

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