I didn't always love connecting with others. Most of you (if you know me or have been following me) have probably heard the stories where I share that I used to be THE mean girl. The guarded, everybody at arms length, cut you down with my assessment of your biggest insecurities delivered with pride (huge eye roll here because, ouch, I WAS proud of myself for it) and a huge flashing smile. It wasn't until I started realizing how isolating those behaviors were (let alone hurtful) and until I experienced a huge personal loss that I was able to see what those behaviors said about me AND what they did to others. Fast forward say....... 15 years? Now I'm surrounded with amazing humans that (hide your shocked face here) I share vulnerability and amazing connection and FEELINGS with. I curated a circle of people that I share those things with, that support and challenge and uplift and celebrate - and vice versa. And guess what those people bring? More of the same. The circle of amazing humans just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And THAT is a beautiful thing. So what does all of that ☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 have to do with anything? Well, a couple of things. 1) The WEB of support alone is a game changer. Not any one person can be everything for you (or vice versa - you can NOT be everything for someone else either, not sustainably). When you have a circle of people that fit different needs, that bring different perspectives to the table, that challenge you and support you in a different way, with varying strengths that means your ability to be supported is increased exponentially. If letting others in is a struggle for you, I get it. I've been there. I've seen it. And it happens a LOT, so don't beat yourself about it. Ask yourself if it's working for you. Sometimes it's really hard to *receive* help from others (support, encouragement, connections, answers, vulnerability, even a healthy challenge). The conversation I have with my clients usually sounds a little something like this. "It's not 'What have I done to deserve this', but 'What have I done to receive this'. You deserve ALL of those things - the helpful, supportive, connection. Sometimes we have to remember to allow ourselves to receive our blessings while reminding ourselves they already belong to us. 2) The energy that comes with being connected in this way has a domino affect. Can you think of someone amazing that's either a direct part of your life or that you know from afar? Have you ever noticed that they're surrounded by those that either have similar values or similar traits, or both? That's one of the coolest parts (to me) about amazing humans, there's more of the same. And more, and more, and more. Two sayings come to mind here: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” - Jim Rohn. "People only see what they are prepared to see. If you look for what is good and what you can be grateful for you will find it everywhere." - Ralph Waldo Emerson. When you reflect on those two quotes, what comes to mind about your circles? What do you and your friends represent in terms of values, vulnerability, lifting each other up? Does it fit what you *want* for yourself? I have to say - the more I lean into collaboration over competition, the more supported I feel, the more energized I become, and........ the more I want to do the same for others. Fun fact: Recently I was referred for a magazine feature unexpectedly by someone in my circle. To receive that opportunity was amazing. It was an honor to share my story and what I do with others. BUT, the true testament here was to the circles I'm in, to the character of the human that shared my name in the midst of opportunity (I'm talking to you, Alison Glowinski 😘 ). That is what I'm truly grateful for, and have great pride around - to be plugged into humans, circles and spaces that lead with that mindset. That fun quote about finding what you're looking for everywhere? It's so interesting to me that collaborations and connections and opportunities are showing up at an increasing rate as I lean into this. Not just with the feature article, but in other professional capacities too.
A friend (p.s. - She's the one that always shares the reminder to be a "flipping good human" (total nod to Deb Oliviara with FemPro Business Society) recently announced that she was going to start doing Business Showers. Think Baby or Briday shower but tailored to new (or recently new) female business owners. Maybe you've seen the meme? Well, challenge accepted, Elon. As soon as I saw Deb's announcement I reached out and said can I PLEASE be a part of this - it speaks to everything that I believe in. She said yes, and the "funny" part is that another good friend of ours was a part of co-creating the events with her. Once again, a testament that connection and support show up in so many exciting and fascinating ways once you lean into it. So this is what I'd love to leave you with - I know it can be hard to let others in, to allow ourselves to be supported, to remember that we DESERVE all of the good things life has in store for us. But believe you me, it is SO worth it. There are people out there that want you to win at life. You're not alone if allowing others to uplift you is a struggle. Give yourself grace, take it 1 step at a time, and ask yourself "What did I do to receive this?". In the meantime, be kind to my friend. Yeah, I'm talking to you, the one reading this right now. I'm rooting for you! Remember to root for yourself. All my love.....