I can’t remember whether I shared this
or not yet, but this year I randomly decided to sell my home. It was one of those things where the moment you hear it you realize you’re supposed to do it, and have to move forward or risk paying the personal consequences. Often I talk about getting creative around solutions to your “problems”, and this was definitely an approach that never crossed my mind (not one time) until it was suggested. The solution it provided was the ability to invest not only in my business (in a big way), but in other areas too (including moving towards a goal of island living in the next few years. - Eeeek, but that’s for another time). I had a list of 3 very specific professional investments I wanted to make, and dove right in. My first investment??? A Mastermind!!! A group of (not like minded) individuals who are from all walks of life, in different chapters with their businesses with some of us just starting out and others making 5 and 6 figures a month (and more). The common denominator in this group? Integrity and authenticity. I chose this specific mastermind because of the consistent way its leaders show up, and in knowing that the people in their circles were big thinkers, good humans, would provide accountability, and challenge the shit out of me. I went into this looking for the answers to the professional struggles I was facing, and to tap into minds that think bigger than I do. I wanted to know what I didn’t know, and I wanted the permission to think *even bigger*. What I didn’t expect from this mastermind was the permission and understanding I would uncover about MYSELF. Being in a new space, especially one like that, can be REALLY intimidating. And that comparison piece, oh man can it start to chip away at you like you would not believe. Starting the mastermind coincided with a LOT of personal shifts, and I found myself judging my participation, my progress, and my process. Am I doing it right? Am I really showing up? Am I playing it safe? Those questions were on a constant loop in my head for weeks…… and here’s what I learned (and the conclusions I arrived at). 1. I am Soooooooo grateful for the fact that I have an internal compass to guide me, especially when things get a little (or a lot) crazy. Like I said, I wondered whether I was "doing it" wrong, mastermind-ing wrong. I saw how everyone was connecting, sharing, and advising, and fell right into that comparison trap. Without personal awareness, without the ability (and willingness) to sit with myself and get curious about whether I was doing it right, I wouldn't have been able to unplug from that comparison tailspin, take a step back, and do my own assessment. Being able to tap into my values, my goals, my big picture, allows me to unplug from all of those ridiculous stories that run through my mind. Whether it’s experiencing something new, feeling especially vulnerable, being emotionally at capacity, or something else, my DEFAULT is to acknowledge, accept, and move through those things. And that process always includes a huge dose of grace, a ton of curiosity, and boatloads of support. 2. “Am I Doing It Right”? - Real talk? Is there really a ”right” way to do everything (hell, maybe even anything)? Why do we choose to feed this monster, the comparison monster, by thinking that how or why we do something needs to look like someone else’s version? Because I sat with my curiosity, because I keep it real with myself, I started to see the thread of ME in how I was navigating the mastermind. Am I doing it right? If you know me, you know I don’t do *most* things like anyone else. And that’s part of my super-power (some radical self-acceptance here). I’m nomadic at my core. I’m comfortable with the uncomfortable. And I don’t *need* my version of something to look like anyone else’s (and vice versa!). I leaned back into my self-trust and recognized that when I come into spaces, I don’t connect with everyone or try to check off the boxes. I connect with less than a handful of individuals, but on an absolutely amazing level. And those connections are always aligned with my purpose and my passion. I’ve come a long way in 2 years, from trying to connect with everyone for any reason to recognizing that is unsustainable and unrealistic. I decided to instead be incredibly intentional about how and why I connect with someone. How can you do it wrong when you're doing it aligned? 3. PEACE - Peace is a necessity for me. And that translates a million different ways. Because I KNOW that I need (and crave) peace, I understand where my behaviors and resistances can come from. A VIP in my life asked me if the timing was right for this mastermind. There was a lot going on at the time, and even more unfolded after I committed to it. It was an incredibly valid question, and very much appreciated. The timing WAS questionable. It was a LOT at one time. But I don’t think I would have uncovered these permission without that timing. And I get to spread those permissions to others. I need peace, and that need dictates how I make decisions and navigate life. That peace is also something I share with others, something that is inherently a part of me and serves as part of my purpose. The timing wasn't wrong, it was exactly what it need to be to keep me on my path and teach me MY lessons. 4. Because of my nomadic core, I don’t need *same-ness* to feel safe or comfortable. Now believe me, there are still some areas where I have to have those consistent pieces that feed my soul and my sanity. But in general that’s not how I roll. I want to know what I don’t know. I need a change of scenery. I want the challenge and the push-back that comes with different ideas (and different people). And that’s NOT a judgment against others. I KNOW MYSELF, and this who I am. That nomadic piece of me is exactly what allows me to move in and out of different circles, ideas, mindsets, and weave connection ( in ALL the ways). It contributes to my superpower, and I wouldn’t be who I am if I tried doing “it” like *everyone else*. What does that all mean? It means that I couldn’t be who I am without those core pieces of myself that I lean into on a regular basis. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me *because* I don’t do things like others. And then I go back to my truth. This is who I am. This is how I do things. And THAT is what allows me to show up in the world in a way that inspires others and serves my purpose. It's never wrong, it's always exactly what it needs to be. It’s a fact that we learn better (and faster) with hands-on experience while making our own mistakes. And I’m a “fail forward” kind of person, constantly gaining new perspective, leaning into the feedback, and adjusting course as I learn. That kind of process builds resilience, empowers, and serves the ever-present lesson - that mistakes are OK, and a very human thing to experience. And we may as well get comfortable making mistakes because (SPOILER ALERT) they never go away. But are they *really* mistakes? I prefer lessons, feedback, learning experiences. Where did that story come from that said we couldn’t, and *shouldn’t* make mistakes? The old saying, “Once, shame on you. Twice, shame on me”, there’s a lot of wisdom in that. If you move through those experiences with curiosity, the craving to understand, and to use that understanding to create a (positive) shift in your life, how would things look different? If you weren’t spending so much time, comparing your experience to others, resisting the process, beating yourself up for “doing it wrong”, how much extra time would you spend actively *CHOOSING* how you wanted things to be different, and pursuing that choice? There’s a difference between letting those experiences define you and using them to shift into the next, best version of yourself. And THAT, my friends, is the end goal (or at least mine). Do me a favor. Next time you catch yourself wondering if you’re doing something "right" - just make a choice. Take action. Move forward. I can almost guarantee that your choice will either bring you clarity, or be the right thing for you (or both). And if not, here’s another nugget for you - YOU get to choose differently at any time.
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